April 7th

This morning started like every other morning in our house.  But today is not like every other day here in Rwanda.  Today is April 7th.  Today we remember that 17 years ago, on this day, Rwanda was changed forever.  Seventeen years ago, on this day, the killing began and for 100 days this beautiful tiny, landlocked country of a thousand hills became a type of hell on earth as those beautiful hills became the graves of over 1 million precious souls. 
As I sit here at my computer on this day in 2011, I can hardly begin to wrap my mind around what happened only seventeen years ago in this very place that I walk today.  I hear the birds singing outside my window and I wonder...did they sing on that day?  I hear some children laughing outside and I wonder...was it laughter or was screams of terror that were heard from children on that day?
April is rainy season here in Rwanda, the grass is the brightest shade of green you will ever see, the sky is overcast and the sun peaks through the clouds every once and awhile as if just to give a short greeting before retreating again.  The rains come, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon.  The red-tinted soil quickly turns to mud, as if overwhelmed by the wealth of water pouring from the heavens....and I wonder...I wonder about the rain on that day.  Was it mud or was it blood that ran in the streets? 
So many times, especially since we moved to Eastern Province, I have marveled at the beauty of this country that I now call home.  The road from Kigali to Rwamagana is lined with breathtaking beauty.  Rolling hills, scattered mud houses, grazing cows, and banana trees as far as the eye can see.  I often remark, on that drive, that I think I live in perhaps the most beautiful country in the whole world.  The air is clean and fresh, especially after a recent rain, and I take a deep breath, filling my lungs and feeling nothing but peace.  And yet I remember.  I remember that these beautiful hills once ran with the blood of hatred.  How can it be?  How is it possible that in such a place as Rwanda one of the worst and bloodiest genocides could happen? 
I have no answers.  Only questions...but I have hope.  I see Rwanda today and I see hope.  Today, I will remember the lives of those who were lost in this land seventeen years ago.  We will not forget them, and we will not forget those who still mourn and grieve.  We will pray, for those who grieve and for those who still hate.  But we will not lose hope.  If we lose our hope then the evil has accomplished it's purpose.  We will not lose hope.  We will hold on to our God who is a God of hope even in the face of hopeless circumstances.  Our God stills reigns in Rwanda and He will heal our land!